by Carolina De Oliveira
Hey there.
We’re gearing up to a CTRL Shift Democracy Convention, and that has gotten me thinking about my life through a lens of power and privilege.
I want to begin by saying that I am using the language of class in this piece, but know that the way people use language can have shortcomings. On the one hand, it is a useful way of acknowledging that we have different life experiences because of our relative wealth. But I see too that the language of class can be othering – creating unreal divisions between us. I believe we humans are one, equal, sovereign entity. And in that respect, one class.
Growing up in Brazil, my family’s wealth and my schooling meant I was part of the elite class. As a youth, I thought going to a British school, being chauffeured, having maids and eating out at restaurants were normal. As was the discomfort of inhabiting a world of pretence & superficiality… a snake’s pit of entitled and unhappy beings.
I was able to access a so-called “world class” education that brought me to university in the UK, and a consultancy career working with governments. Doors to jobs opened with relative ease. In this more wealthy country, I was now a member of the middle class.
My “awakening” to the bubble I inhabited began when chance brought a holistic coach into my life. She pointed out I was depressed and trapped in a cage of my own making. She gave me the gift of self reflective journaling, and sent me in the direction of what made my heart sing, literally.
I reconnected with the call of music that lay dormant since childhood. Joining a choir took me to music festivals – Glastonbury, Small World… and for the first time in my life, I was hanging out in fields with working class people.
That atmosphere was completely different. Most pretence evaporated. It was more heart, more sharing, more honesty, more chaos; and a part of me found home.
That was when I met my life partner, who is “working class” (though he points out there is no separate class of human…). We have endless conversations about the perspectives of each “class”, the differences in opportunity and actions. He views the government with much more suspicion than I ever had, and I see why. I see too how my education was in part an inculcation into a capitalist colonialist mindset.
He gave me the courage to leave the corporate career and choose a life dedicated to supporting the decentralisation of power and community building, though it comes with lower wages and job security.
At first, it was a culture shock. I was not used to a kinder, relational way of working, with permission (and expectation) to be fully honest. Nor the pace of work which at first seemed only slower… and now, also deeper and wiser. There was much to learn and to shed of my own top down approach to working.
What happened next was that I met A Fairer Society’s team at a CTRL Shift summit in 2019, and we’ve been collaborating professionally ever since. With each new project, more of the practices of healthy power seeped into my ways of working.
I can describe it as a feeling of complete empowerment and emotional safety: I know I’ll be heard, my ideas considered, and a part of the decisions that affect me.
I trust my colleagues, who are first of all my friends.
This trust means less contracts, and less fear… which somehow becomes more trust in the universe, allowing me to loosen the reins, and stress less.
In these spaces, none have power over me. When I choose to defer to the judgment and request of a colleague, my power aligns with their will because I trust them. We are all sovereign and equivalent.
Today, healthy power is the norm in all the spaces I work, which feels like a deep privilege. But unlike the privilege of my youth where my power was at the expense of others, having this kind of healthy power increases the power of all around me.
Carolina
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Carolina De Oliveira
Carolina De Oliveira is an organisational development practitioner, Sociocracy facilitator-in-training, and lifelong community builder. She works with A Fairer Society to support purpose-led teams in sharing power, making wiser decisions, and creating cultures of belonging.
Carolina coordinates CTRL Shift, a UK-wide collective impact network shifting power to communities, and is co-director of SONEC, which is introducing Neighbourhood Parliaments and grassroots organising models to towns and cities across the UK.
Carolina’s mission is simple: help people connect, organise, and grow communities that work for everyone.
The contrast between power that comes at others' expense and healthy power that increases everyone's agency is the clearest idea here. The point about trust reducing the need for contracts and fear also shows how shared decision-making can change everyday work, not just formal governance.