Consent vs Consensus in Sociocracy, Power, and Presence: A Practitioner’s Response to Jem Bendell

TL;DR: New rules won’t dissolve patriarchy. Consent beats consensus when paired with clear roles, real accountability, and presence. This practitioner’s response to Jem Bendell shows how sociocracy balances power, process and outcomes in the real world.

By Nathaniel Whitestone

(First certified sociocracy expert in the UK; served on the Global General Circle of The Sociocracy Group, 2010–2013)

Professor Jem Bendell’s recent essay, “On Sociocracy: If we won’t escape patriarchy with new rules on meetings, then how?”, raises questions that go to the heart of collaborative governance. I appreciate his honesty and courage in naming the gap between our aspirations for equality and the lived experiences that so often fall short. The tension he describes—between procedural correctness and authentic presence—is one that every seasoned facilitator knows intimately.

Over nearly twenty years of teaching and practising sociocracy in business, community, and civic settings, I have encountered the same dynamics Bendell highlights: soft power in facilitation, confusion about expertise, and the risk that a process becomes performative rather than transformative. These are real issues, and they are not unique to sociocracy. They are features of human social life, appearing in every organisation that attempts to share power consciously.

But I also want to clarify what sociocracy actually is—and is not—because Bendell’s critique seems to be based on a version of sociocracy that diverges in important ways from the practice developed by Gerard Endenburg and articulated in John Buck and Sharon Villines’s We the People: Consenting to a Deeper Democracy. The sociocratic method is not simply a set of “meeting rules.” It is a coherent system for governing organisations as living systems, based on equivalence, transparency, and effectiveness.

Presence and Process

Consent vs consensus: presence with structure

Jem Bendell begins and ends with his men’s group, describing the felt sense of choosing between following rules and being present to each other, consent vs consensus. That polarity is real: there are moments when the agenda feels like an intrusion on intimacy, and others when our intimacy threatens to dissolve shared purpose. Sociocracy exists precisely to help groups navigate that tension—not to eliminate it.

When practised well, sociocratic meetings are not rigid but rhythmic. Consent rounds, for example, are designed to create social safety (Endenburg’s term) by ensuring that no one is ignored and that objections are understood as valuable feedback on system design. The structure is there to make space for genuine presence, not to suppress it.

So when Bendell asks whether new rules can free us from patriarchy, my answer is: no, but living practice might. Sociocracy offers scaffolding for the continual practice of equivalence, not a guarantee of it.

1. Soft Power and Facilitation

Facilitation power dynamics and accountability

Bendell worries that facilitators wield unexamined influence through agenda setting and subtle steering. He is right that this can happen. But in formal sociocracy, agenda setting belongs primarily to the secretary, not the facilitator. The secretary consults with the facilitator and operational leaders to prepare the agenda, which the circle then adopts by consent at the start of the meeting. The facilitator’s job is to help the group think, not to control what it thinks about.

Still, facilitators inevitably bring preferences—anyone who claims neutrality is pretending. The safeguard lies not in denying preference but in designing circular power: facilitators are elected by consent, evaluated through feedback rounds, and can be replaced at any time by the group. The “soft power” that Bendell notes is real, but it is accountable soft power.

2. Expertise and Accountability

Policy vs operations (dynamic governance in practice)

Bendell’s second concern—that sociocracy may underplay domain expertise—reflects a common misunderstanding. Sociocracy distinguishes between policy and operations. Circles decide policy by consent, but operational authority is delegated to individuals or small groups precisely because of their expertise.

In other words, sociocracy thrives on clear delegation. Consent decision-making is not meant for day-to-day technical decisions; it is for setting the boundaries within which experts act autonomously. If a group finds itself debating operational details by consent, it has likely blurred that boundary—something that good sociocratic coaching can prevent.

When Endenburg described “equivalence in decision-making,” he did not mean that everyone has equal knowledge, but that everyone has an equal voice in shaping the conditions under which knowledge is applied.

3. Performative Participation and Subtle Power

Psychological safety in meetings: objections as useful feedback

Bendell notes that real groups contain strategic behaviour, conformity, and power play—and that sociocracy may appear to assume otherwise. Again, this is true of poorly trained groups, but not of the method itself.

In consent decision-making, objections must be argued and paramount—that is, the objector must articulate how a proposal could harm the group’s aim. This focus on the aim grounds discussions in purpose rather than preference. It doesn’t prevent manipulation, but it exposes it. A facilitator can ask: “Can you frame your concern in terms of the group’s aim?” This simple question surfaces whether someone’s behaviour is protective of the system or self-serving.

As for infiltrators or saboteurs—yes, any governance system can be undermined. Sociocracy is not immune, but it is unusually transparent. Every role is elected, every policy reviewed, and every circle connected to others by a double link that carries information in both directions. That redundancy creates resilience even when trust is temporarily broken.

4. Bias Toward Present Participants

Cooperative governance and stakeholder voice (double-linking)

Bendell argues that sociocracy privileges those who are present over those who are affected but absent. This critique misunderstands what a “circle” is. The word sociocracy literally means rule of the socios—the cooperating group. Decision-making belongs to those carrying the shared aim.

At the same time, mature sociocratic design includes mechanisms for including other stakeholders. The top circle, for example, connects the organisation with its wider environment through external experts in law, finance, social systems, and the organisation’s field of work. This is how stakeholder representation enters the system. Many co-ops and mission-driven businesses extend the same logic through root or mission circles that include beneficiaries or community members.

So, yes, sociocracy is biased toward practitioners of the work—but only because it assumes that accountability to purpose requires accountability to those who do the work.

5. Time Burden and the Reproduction of Privilege

How consent decision making reduces meeting load

The time burden is real. Participatory systems always require time, and time is unevenly distributed. But sociocracy explicitly addresses this through delegation and rhythm.

Circles meet to set policy; between meetings, delegated roles act autonomously. When delegation is functioning, most members spend less time in meetings than under consensus systems. In organisations I’ve supported—worker co-ops, tech start-ups, and NGOs—sociocracy has typically reduced meeting time by half once roles and domains were clarified.

Privilege still matters: if someone cannot attend, they lose influence. But sociocracy’s structure—double links, transparent minutes, and consent-based election—reduces the harm of absence compared to less formal systems where decisions happen in corridors.

6. Process Over Outcomes

Finally, Bendell warns that process can eclipse purpose. Again, he’s right to observe the risk. But the heart of sociocracy is aim-oriented governance. Every circle defines its aim in terms of value delivered to its client or beneficiary—what Endenburg called an exchange relation. If a group loses sight of outcomes, it is not because sociocracy overemphasized process but because they forgot to use one of its basic tools: the feedback loop of doing–measuring–leading.

When groups use metrics meaningfully—not as control, but as reflection—they naturally stay grounded in purpose.

Beyond Rules

Perhaps the most valuable thing Bendell reminds us is that no set of rules will dissolve patriarchy or any other systemic imbalance. Sociocracy is not a utopian escape from human frailty. It is a discipline for transforming it.

Every round, every consent test, every election by argument is an invitation to notice where fear, pride, or avoidance show up in us. The structure doesn’t replace inner work; it creates space for it. As my mentor John Buck likes to say, sociocracy “turns conversation into co-creation.” But only if we bring our full humanity into the circle.

In that sense, Bendell’s essay is not a challenge to sociocracy but a call to deepen it—to ensure that our practice includes the emotional literacy and somatic presence required for real equivalence.

An Invitation

So I thank Jem for the provocation. His concerns are legitimate, and they echo what many practitioners encounter in early stages of adopting sociocracy. But these are not flaws in the method—they are developmental thresholds for groups learning to embody shared power.

Healthy power, as I’ve come to understand it, means the ability to achieve aims while increasing the power and well-being of all involved. Sociocracy offers one of the best-designed frameworks we have for that learning—if we use it as a living practice rather than a rulebook.

(For readers seeking reliable introductions, I recommend John Buck & Sharon Villines’ We the People: Consenting to a Deeper Democracy*, and the resources of Sociocracy For All. For a concise guide to consent decision-making, see my short paper “Simple Consent Decision-Making” or the free introductory course on Sociocracy accessible at https://livein.afairersociety.com/ )*

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Nathaniel Whitestone

Co-founder of A Fairer Society at A Fairer Society | Website

Nathaniel Whitestone is a governance expert, OD/OT consultant, executive coach, and angel investor, committed to fostering Healthy Power in organizations. He thrives on unraveling complex systems, guiding leaders to innovate with integrity and playful revolution. His passion lies in seeding societal transformation towards empowerment and fairness.